Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic.

But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."

"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

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ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with  a loose woman."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?"
"Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the woman you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her  reputation."

"Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out  her  name sooner or later, so you may as
well tell me  now.

"Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."

"Was it Teresa Volpe?"
"I'll never tell."

"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight  lipped, Johnny Parisi,
and I admire that. But  you've  sinned and have to atone.

You cannot be an altar  boy  now for 4 months. Now you go and behave
yourself."

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers,



"What'd you get?"



"Four  months vacation and five good leads."